One of the many things that interests me as an Executive Coach is to link the worlds of business, psychology and learning in ways that are practical and helpful to business leaders. One example of this is my growing interest in Transactional Analysis (TA), developed by Eric Berne1 in the late 1950's and now widely used in coaching, therapy and learning situations. Along with many, I believe TA can be used outside the confines of psychotherapy to illuminate everyday patterns of human behavior and the relationships between people. These patterns of interaction have important implications for work culture, group dynamics and leadership style.
At the core of the theory is the belief that from early childhood we develop the ego-states of parent, adult and child. All three ego-states are present within us during our lives and will feature to a greater or lesser extent depending on how we interact and socialize with others. The ego-states display themselves in our attitudes, emotions and in our language. When we are assertive and in control we may use the language of the parent "I need you to do this". When we are rational, aware and free to choose we will tend to use adult language: "So, what are our options here?". And, when we are feeling incompetent, vulnerable or perhaps playful or rebellious, we may use childlike language: "I need some help with this"; or perhaps "Who are you to tell me what to do!?" reminiscent of a rebellious teenager.
It is worth noting that when I refer to language this might be either introverted in our "inner voice" or extroverted depending on the the relative strengths of the relationships and the context. For instance, if I really do need practical help with something I might request it. On the other hand, if I am nervous and about to give a big presentation, I might not let on that I feel completely helpless. But knowing when to ask for help and when to grow your wings is one of the many varied applications of TA.
And, this brings me on to the crucial point here: None of the states are good nor bad and all have a role to play in building effective relationships with others. Sometimes, we need to take the lead and set standards (parent); sometimes, we need to be rational and self aware (adult); and sometimes we need to show vulnerability and on occassions break some rules (child).
Yet, each ego-state might present problems of their own. If overused, the parenting ego-state might result in becoming over-bearing and domineering. If over-used, the adult ego-state might result in emotional detachment, a lack of imagination and too little fun. And, if we stay too long in our child state we may continue to be dependent and immature, unable to take decisions for ourselves; or otherwise holding on to naieve hopes.
We use these ego-states in a dynamic way, as we interact and are influenced by others. If someone uses a parenting style, it is likely to trigger either a childlike response from a subordinate or a confrontational reposte from a peer. If I adopt an adult style, it is more likely to trigger a "parallel adult response".
It is the implications of TA in group dynamics and in human development that make the subject such an important one for organizational leaders.
The crucial point is to firstly recognize our own ego-states: What ego-state predominates, and what triggers a change of state in us as leaders. Are we different with certain people? Do particular situations lead to a shift in mindset and behavior?
What are the implications of these patterns on your success as a leader?
Next, look at what is going on in your team. What language do you hear? With you, are you hearing the language of an admiring but dependent child, ever eager to win your attention, or are you having a conversation with an adult, aware of what is going on around them and ready to take decisions?
Next, thing about your work culture. Is your organization dependent on a powerful leader, either a paternal or maternal figure? And, what is the impact of this on the way work gets done? Do peers treat each other as adults or seek to assert themselves by adopting a parenting tone: "We absolutely have to do this otherwise there will be consequences!"
The wider social psychology will play an important part, too in influencing TA interactions. More authoritarian cultures will tend to reinforce Parent-Child ego-states in hierarchical relationships. I attend Catholic Church here in Poland and it is interesting that as a family we prefer to go to the International Parish in the town center where the Priest presents, in my view, a more balanced and adult sermon, posing questions and seeking to build our spiritual awareness. He suggests rather than dictates. In our local Parish by contrast, the Priest often uses an admonishing tone, and seeks to foster guilt and dependency.
Overcoming childhood guilt is a key part of our development into an adult.
We could draw similar parallels in politics or indeed any social organization we belong to.
This is not a "how to" guide and there are no easy steps, but I do believe an awareness of TA ego-states can make us become better leaders by increasing our awareness of the hidden "scripts" that shape our mindset and behavior. If there is a presumption underling TA theory and practice, it is the general preference for increasing the amount of adult-to-adult interactions we have, thereby accelerating growth and development of ALL individuals involved in the interaction. To me, adult-to-adult conversations are indicated by four main competencies:
At the core of the theory is the belief that from early childhood we develop the ego-states of parent, adult and child. All three ego-states are present within us during our lives and will feature to a greater or lesser extent depending on how we interact and socialize with others. The ego-states display themselves in our attitudes, emotions and in our language. When we are assertive and in control we may use the language of the parent "I need you to do this". When we are rational, aware and free to choose we will tend to use adult language: "So, what are our options here?". And, when we are feeling incompetent, vulnerable or perhaps playful or rebellious, we may use childlike language: "I need some help with this"; or perhaps "Who are you to tell me what to do!?" reminiscent of a rebellious teenager.
It is worth noting that when I refer to language this might be either introverted in our "inner voice" or extroverted depending on the the relative strengths of the relationships and the context. For instance, if I really do need practical help with something I might request it. On the other hand, if I am nervous and about to give a big presentation, I might not let on that I feel completely helpless. But knowing when to ask for help and when to grow your wings is one of the many varied applications of TA.
And, this brings me on to the crucial point here: None of the states are good nor bad and all have a role to play in building effective relationships with others. Sometimes, we need to take the lead and set standards (parent); sometimes, we need to be rational and self aware (adult); and sometimes we need to show vulnerability and on occassions break some rules (child).
Yet, each ego-state might present problems of their own. If overused, the parenting ego-state might result in becoming over-bearing and domineering. If over-used, the adult ego-state might result in emotional detachment, a lack of imagination and too little fun. And, if we stay too long in our child state we may continue to be dependent and immature, unable to take decisions for ourselves; or otherwise holding on to naieve hopes.
We use these ego-states in a dynamic way, as we interact and are influenced by others. If someone uses a parenting style, it is likely to trigger either a childlike response from a subordinate or a confrontational reposte from a peer. If I adopt an adult style, it is more likely to trigger a "parallel adult response".
It is the implications of TA in group dynamics and in human development that make the subject such an important one for organizational leaders.
The crucial point is to firstly recognize our own ego-states: What ego-state predominates, and what triggers a change of state in us as leaders. Are we different with certain people? Do particular situations lead to a shift in mindset and behavior?
What are the implications of these patterns on your success as a leader?
Next, look at what is going on in your team. What language do you hear? With you, are you hearing the language of an admiring but dependent child, ever eager to win your attention, or are you having a conversation with an adult, aware of what is going on around them and ready to take decisions?
Next, thing about your work culture. Is your organization dependent on a powerful leader, either a paternal or maternal figure? And, what is the impact of this on the way work gets done? Do peers treat each other as adults or seek to assert themselves by adopting a parenting tone: "We absolutely have to do this otherwise there will be consequences!"
The wider social psychology will play an important part, too in influencing TA interactions. More authoritarian cultures will tend to reinforce Parent-Child ego-states in hierarchical relationships. I attend Catholic Church here in Poland and it is interesting that as a family we prefer to go to the International Parish in the town center where the Priest presents, in my view, a more balanced and adult sermon, posing questions and seeking to build our spiritual awareness. He suggests rather than dictates. In our local Parish by contrast, the Priest often uses an admonishing tone, and seeks to foster guilt and dependency.
Overcoming childhood guilt is a key part of our development into an adult.
We could draw similar parallels in politics or indeed any social organization we belong to.
This is not a "how to" guide and there are no easy steps, but I do believe an awareness of TA ego-states can make us become better leaders by increasing our awareness of the hidden "scripts" that shape our mindset and behavior. If there is a presumption underling TA theory and practice, it is the general preference for increasing the amount of adult-to-adult interactions we have, thereby accelerating growth and development of ALL individuals involved in the interaction. To me, adult-to-adult conversations are indicated by four main competencies:
- The readiness to listen to others in order to build awareness
- The use of questioning to generate options and choices,
- The exchange of frank and open feedback to build mutual understanding
- Taking accountability for decisions and outcomes.
In my experience as an Executive Coach, it is these four behaviors that are most often looked for in leadership decision-making and can best be developed by working with a leader who models these behaviors.The key question is are the people who work for you ready for this adult-to-adult experience? Or, will they be left floundering, seeking a clearer direction from a parental figure.
I hope this article has established the direct relevance of TA to leadership development and succession and been helpful in stimulating your thinking, be it from a parental, adult or child-like perspective.
I'd I would very much like to hear your views.
I'd like to acknowledge the great help from the Ashridge Business School faculty and my learning colleagues on the AMEC program in helping generate the ideas and insights involved in the preparation of this article.
1. Eric Berne, Games People Play
Andrew Atter
Warsaw, 2009
©Andrew Atter
I hope this article has established the direct relevance of TA to leadership development and succession and been helpful in stimulating your thinking, be it from a parental, adult or child-like perspective.
I'd I would very much like to hear your views.
I'd like to acknowledge the great help from the Ashridge Business School faculty and my learning colleagues on the AMEC program in helping generate the ideas and insights involved in the preparation of this article.
1. Eric Berne, Games People Play
Andrew Atter
Warsaw, 2009
©Andrew Atter
Karim,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback. And, keep it coming - both positive and negative feedback is really welcome as I feel my way into blogging.
Andrew