Yes, it won't just be Accenture who has to rework its favorite tag line. Business coaches everywhere will be scratching their heads to think of some easy way to convey the role they have in coaching successful people. Tiger's enduring success presented an icon, an ideal: Someone who had actually "self actualized". He'd really done it. Athlete of the decade, model wife, kids, billion dollar contracts. With Tiger around, we all knew that with enough practice and a winning smile, anything was possible.
Now we are all faced with a hard landing back to Planet Reality. Life is full of painful choices and trade offs even for successful people and in some cases, particularly for successful people.
We are reminded of the fact that (according to Psychologist, Dr. Steven Ungerleider) within 5 years, 40% of Olympic medalists undergo psychotherapy or counseling in some form. Success itself creates its own dilemmas. As one motivational driver is satisfied, others remain unmet. They surface from our unconscious to remind us of their continued existence at inconvenient moments.
So what's going on? And, why can't we have it all?
In my view, it all relates to the key elements of our Mind: our Values, Motivation and Goals. There are other things going on in there of course, but these are the elements that I observe as a coach being most significant in shaping how we live. Keeping these three elements in some sort of balance is what I think life is all about. We function best when our goals are routed in our values and are driven by our motivational needs. For instance, if a successful person has very high Achievement motive, they might value the continued striving. It is not just about winning, its the struggle itself that they enjoy. It is this value that keeps them going on to keep winning. The goal to be #1 can therefore be grounded in real psychological needs. We achieve success in some aspect of our life, be it sports, work or in our social networks, as a result of this alignment.
Yet, just when we think we have it sorted, other motivational needs start to surface, under-nurtured and unmet. The need for freedom, independence, control, can assert themselves. My guess, it that this did so in Tiger's life, with disastrous consequences. The freedom to "be like other guys", and do what they do. With a life and family, and billion dollar promotional contract, Tiger's downfall brings to sharp relief just how "irrational" and self-destructive we can become when our motivational and value system collide.
This is a sad story. I don't know the chronology, but it might well be Tiger lost his bearings after the loss of his Father, who seemed unusually prominent in his adult life. Perhaps the child in Tiger hung around for just that bit too long. The impact on his wife and two young children can only be imagined.
The only lesson we can draw from this is coaches is to be reminded that its never just about the golf, anymore than it is ever just about work. Successful leaders bring their whole self into what they do, and their success impacts every other aspect of their life.
The sad part in all this is that Tiger was not able to change a habit before it was too late. Habits can be changed. He he is a young man with a lot to offer the world. He is a leader, icon, husband and parent, and what he does now will influence directly and indirectly many people.
Today, the message is that Tiger needs a real coach now more than ever. This is a distinctively different role and relationship from father or golf instructor. He needs someone with sufficient insight to spot the patterns, detachment to ask the tough questions and relational skill to build his self awareness. He needs someone who could bridge his public/private worlds and ensure the two were in alignment with each other.
And, let's face it, we all want to be inspired by the gods because they make us feel that we too, can rise above our complex, imperfect humanity.
